'Vanishing Man'

At the age of 58, having worked for 41 years, I found myself ‘burned out’, mentally and physically unable to motivate myself to take on any kind of job, executive or manual, high or low pressure. In hindsight the condition had probably started some five years before, at perhaps the height of my career, however at this point, unable to articulate any kind of explanation, my world seemed to stop turning, leaving me crushed and helpless in a way that I’d never experienced before, in turn causing real damage to my relationships as partner and parent. 

I named this syndrome ‘Vanishing Man’. It helped to give the struggle a name as I sought to understand how this could possibly have happened to me, ‘Mr. Confident’, as I tried, in vain for a long time, to figure out how to get out of this nightmare that I just couldn't wake up from. Turns out, as I’ve been sharing my experience, I’m far from alone. 

I now know that this is not a quick fix, as much as I’d like it to be, it’s a permanent state within which I’m learning that if I’m to survive it’s up to me to change the paradigm of how I see myself and the life I have to come, to reframe myself in order to genuinely ‘recolour’ myself for the rest of this race of life. 

My project aims to study three key elements of the 'Vanishing Man', namely Professional, Partner and Parent, accepting that the 'vanishing' in each role may be occurring at different speeds for different people. Starting with 'recognising' what's going on, before finding out how to 'reframe', and finally 'recolour' the Vanishing Man' with new inner purpose, hope and the determination to live life in it's full colour spectrum!  

A Vanishing Man book and podcast are both in the works, and hopefully in time, practical  retreats and 'recolouring 'challenges as I’d love to think that this project could be of help to others who’ve reached the same crossroads. 

In the meantime I'm meeting so many people who have struggled with the exact same thing as me.  It's worth pointing out that the 'Vanishing Man' experience goes beyond simply feeling fatigue or stress from one's current situation, it's a state of mind that mentally debilitates and physically paralyses once confident individuals, taking them to a place where they are unable to articulate what is happening let alone being able to move forward under their own steam. 

For that reason, I'd like to hear from you about your own experience, past or present, particularly from any of the the perspectives of Professional, Partner (spouse), and/or Parent. I’d like to know about your journey, it doesn’t matter if you’re right at the beginning, if you’ve been able to reframe yourself by finding a new purpose, or if you're at the other end freely exploring the adventures and challenges of life.  

Your insight would be incredibly valuable and hopefully helpful to you and others.  Please contact me, in strict confidence of course.

I hit the big 60 this year. Can't quite believe it! 

I've no idea where the time went, It's been quite a journey so far, it sort of feels like 2/3rds done, 1/3 to go, and so I'm embracing the need to change my life paradigm that will unlock many more personal and professional adventures right over the next horizon! 

Professionally I've spent 40+ years in sales, in some capacity or other, from a young sales rep on the road pitching directly to customers through to International Director of Sales leading both in-house and external facing sales teams. I've run my own pitch presentation coaching and production consultancy working with clients all around the world on some of the most iconic Architectural, Engineering and Construction projects.    

My super power is that I know how to structure, coach and produce powerful pitch presentations, and how to build a winning business strategy. I know how to get the best out of technical people who are not always comfortable with strategy or presenting their solutions, enabling them to be both confident and compelling. 

Personally, Husband, Dad of five, and now Grandad of three (soon to be four), I quit full time work in 2022, when professional burnout triggered other aspects of my life that I was just not expecting or equipped for. My journey since then has been one of fairly intense highs and lows, throughout which I've been trying hard to to capture, examine, and learn from the experience, like mapping unchartered territory, using my 'Vanishing Man' project to describe a new paradigm where I, and others where possible, can learn to 'recognise, reframe and recolour' to be the best versions of ourselves!      

if you'd like to see my coaching services website please follow this link