REFRAMING THE VANISHING MAN
Some words and phrases used to describe this phase of the Vanishing Man experience include 'loss of identity', 'loss of purpose', 'lack of hope', 'violation of values', 'needing to let go', forgiveness', 'reconnecting', 'rebalancing', 'reframing', 'knowing who I am', 'knowing what I like', 'knowing what I'm best at'.
This element of the project deals with enabling the 'Vanishing Man' to examine, and subsequently change, the paradigm of his current life toward a mindset of agency, connection, and resilience, empowering him to reconnect with who he has always been at his core, powerfully draw on his positive life experiences as professional, partner and parent, and take actionable steps toward feeling seen, valued, and fulfilled.
The crux of the crisis seems to stem from the shifting nature of purpose. When external markers of success and fulfillment—like job titles, financial stability, and family responsibilities—begin to wane, the internal search for meaning intensifies. Research shows that Vanishing Man often 'feels like a ship adrift, without the guiding star of identity and purpose that was once used to steer his course'. The good news is that this period of uncertainty can be a powerful catalyst for personal transformation.
Research seems to identify three common issues:
- As time goes by, Vanishing Man may have 'put on' layers of metaphorical Professional, Partner and Parent clothes, outfits that have perhaps become tired or old fashioned over the years, which for some leads to feelings of becoming invisible or no being longer treated in the same way as before. But, the good news is that underneath all of these 'role layers', is the Superman outfit that has always been there - his real self!
- Just because Vanishing Man is able to recognise the issues that he’s been struggling with, or in some cases admit that he's no longer sure of his 'purpose', it does not necessarily follow that change will simply happen magically, quickly or naturally.
- There is real work to do to change the ‘Vanishing Man’s’ paradigm of his identity, and to bring him to a place of willingness to take the necessary action that will enable genuine and lasting ‘recolouring’. This may involve some painful decisions.
At this 'Reframing' stage of the project there are a number of questions that will encourage introspection and action, helping Vanishing Man to move from a feeling of invisibility to a state of empowerment and fulfillment.
- What roles have defined me the most in my life, and how do I feel about them now?
- How do I define / find my identity?
- What are my core values, and how can they guide my decisions moving forward?
- Am I living according to my values, or am I shaped by others’ expectations?
* If you have been, or are currently, affected by any of the issues briefly mentioned above and would like to join our research programme, or talk in confidence, please get in touch.