RECOLOURING THE VANISHING MAN
Some common words and phrases used to describe this phase of the Vanishing Man experience include 'happy', 'complete', 'curious', 'adventurous', 'open', 'spiritual', 'joyous', 'compatible', 'balanced', 'clarity', 'confidence', 'letting go of external pressures', 'grounded in his choices', 'renewed energy', 'shedding outdated identities', 'sense of freedom and possibility'.
This element of the project deals with taking the 'Vanishing Man' onto new levels of living a deep, meaningful and adventurous life by embracing actions and mindsets that prioritise authenticity, connection, and growth.
Feeling 'Recoloured' represents a transformative shift in a man’s identity, moving beyond traditional roles of provider, protector, professional, and partner tied to external validation and responsibility. It involves embracing new shades of self-expression, such as creating meaning instead of solely providing, connecting emotionally rather than merely protecting, pursuing purpose over professional achievement, and cultivating presence in relationships rather than fulfilling roles. This recolouring often brings clarity, freedom, and deeper satisfaction, as men rediscover their authentic selves through reflection, experimentation, and meaningful connections, stepping into a life that aligns with their inner values and passions.
Research so far seems to identify several common issues:
- From Provider to Creator: Old Colour: Defined by financial security, productivity, and material success. New Colour: Shifts towards creating meaning, nurturing relationships, and contributing in ways that align with passions or values. Experience: A man might start seeing value in volunteering, mentoring, or pursuing creative outlets that fulfill deeper needs beyond income generation.
- From Protector to Connector: Old Colour: Focused on shielding loved ones, maintaining control, and ensuring stability. New Colour: Emphasizes emotional availability, empathy, and fostering deeper connections. Experience: Realizing that vulnerability, rather than stoicism, strengthens relationships. He might begin to share more openly with loved ones or engage in active listening.
- From Professional to Purposeful: Old Colour: Identity tied to career achievements, job titles, and measurable success. New Colour: Centered on legacy, impact, and alignment with personal values. Experience: A man could transition from striving for promotions to mentoring others, starting a passion project, or redefining success as personal growth and contribution.
- From Partner to Presence: Old Colour: Role as a partner shaped by duties and traditional expectations. New Colour: Focused on being fully present, nurturing mutual growth, and enjoying the journey together. Experience: He might find joy in shared adventures, deep conversations, or supporting his partner’s aspirations rather than just fulfilling obligations.
- Rediscovering the Self: Old Colour: Self-worth tied to what others expect or need from him. New Colour: Embracing an identity independent of external roles, finding value in simply being. Experience: Exploring hobbies, reconnecting with forgotten passions, or cultivating mindfulness practices to rediscover who he is outside of societal labels.
At this 'Reframing' stage of the project there are a number of questions that will challenge Vanishing Man's existing beliefs, uncover his deeper desires, and guide him toward new perspectives and possibilities, enabling him to reimagine himself and uncover new paths for growth, meaning, and connection.
- If my life were a story, what chapter am I in, and what do I want the next chapter to be?
- What would make me feel alive, joyful, or fulfilled in the coming months?
- How can I approach this stage of life as an adventure or a fresh canvas
* If you have been, or are currently, affected by any of the issues briefly mentioned above and would like to join our research programme, or talk in confidence, please get in touch.